Father’s Day is a special occasion that occurs one day a year to honor and appreciate the fathers in our lives. For many of us, our fathers are our “North Stars” guiding us through life with their steadfast support and enduring presence. In my case, my beloved Dad was my “rock” throughout my life, up until his 90’s when he passed. I miss him dearly every day.

While gifts and cards are lovely on Father’s Day, creating a video that captures your father’s wisdom, experiences and love, can be an even more meaningful gift for you to share. All you need is a smartphone and a list of tailored questions to ask your father, which you can find in the blog post.

One of my most cherished possessions is the biographical video interview I did with him over 20 years ago, where I captured all of his life stories and life wisdom. 

A homemade video serves not only as a precious keepsake but also as a gift of quality time spent together, deepening bonds and fostering open, heartfelt conversations. It will preserve your father’s voice and expressions and capture his stories and emotions. It’s a dynamic way to document his legacy, allowing future generations when they see it to connect with his personality, values and wisdom in a way that written words alone cannot achieve.

To make the most out of this production, questions should be tailored to the age of the person asking them. This approach ensures that the conversation is engaging and the questions are appropriate, whether they are asked by a young child or an adult. 

Once the video is complete, share the final production with your family and back it up to keep copies safe for future generations to enjoy.

Best Father’s Day wishes to all the exceptional Dads!

 

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Questions to Ask Dad on Father’s Day

 

Here are questions to get you started, sorted by age. For your convenience, you can download the Questions to Ask Dad on Father’s Day PDF and print to use as a script while you record. Most of all, have FUN!

For Young Children:

• • How did you feel when you found out you were going to be a dad?
  • What is your favorite memory of me as a baby?
  • What is the funniest thing I’ve done so far?
  • What was the most surprising thing about becoming my dad?
  • What do you hope I remember about my early years?
  • What is your favorite activity to do with me right now?
  • What have you learned about yourself since becoming my dad?

For Elementary School Children:

• • What’s your favorite story to read to me?
  • What school activity or event are you most proud of me for?
  • How do you encourage my curiosity and learning?
  • What advice do you give me about making friends?
  • What’s your favorite game or sport to play with me?
  • What lesson do you hope I learn during elementary school?
  • What family tradition do you enjoy most with me?
  • How do you handle challenges or conflicts with me?

For Middle School Children:

• • What’s the biggest change you’ve noticed in me during middle school?
  • How do you support my growing independence?
  • What do you admire most about my personality?
  • What advice do you have for me about handling peer pressure?
  • What hobbies or interests do we share?
  • How do you help me balance school, activities, and relaxation?
  • What’s the most important value you want me to remember?
  • What’s your favorite memory of us from when I was younger?

For High School Children:

• • What were you like in high school?
  • What’s the most important advice you have for my future?
  • How do you support my goals and dreams?
  • What’s your favorite memory of us from my childhood?
  • What’s the biggest challenge you’ve faced as my parent?
  • What qualities do you think are most important for me to develop?
  • How do you feel about me becoming more independent?
  • What life lessons do you want me to carry into adulthood?

For Adult Children:

• • What was your proudest moment as my father?
  • How did becoming a father change you?
  • What advice do you have for me as I navigate adulthood?
  • What are the biggest lessons you’ve learned from being a parent?
  • What’s your favorite memory of us together?
  • What values do you hope I continue to uphold?
  • How do you want to be remembered by your grandchildren?
  • What’s one thing you wish you had known when you were my age?

For Adult Children Who Are Fathers Themselves:

• • What advice do you have for me now that I’m a father too?
  • What was the biggest challenge you faced raising me?
  • How did you balance work and family life?
  • What are your favorite memories of raising me?
  • How did you approach discipline and guidance with me?
  • What’s the most important lesson you want me to pass on to my children?
  • How do you see fatherhood changing across generations?
  • What are you most proud of in your journey as a father and now a grandfather?

 

In the tapestry of life, there’s a unique thread woven with laughter, wisdom, and endless love—the bond between grandparents and grandchildren. This relationship, often described as one of life’s greatest treasures, holds the key to a wealth of untold stories and valuable lessons shared. It’s the connection that transcends generations, nurturing the roots of our family tree.

But have you ever considered asking your grandchildren to interview you? Akin to conducting an “Ask Me Anything” (AMA) session with a real-life sage—you.

In today’s fast-paced world, where the answers to any question are often just a click away, the art of conversing — even with grandparents — sometimes takes a back seat. However, there’s magic in those conversations that cannot be replicated by searching online.

We recently directed and recorded an AMA interview session between a 70+ year old client and his young adult 20+ year old grandchild. My crew and I were all moved by the profound impact of the experience, as we watched it unfold for them. As they embarked on their AMA journey, we discovered an even deeper connection and a newfound appreciation that was evident for each other.

The questions asked were not just about the past but also about aspirations, dreams, life lessons and hopes for the future. The result? An amazing recorded video conversation – originally intended to be 30-40 minutes, ended up being close to 90 minutes– and it all felt like 5 minutes! The discussions, touching moments, and even shared laughter left an indelible mark on both of them, as they told me afterwards. And without any prompting from me– the grandchild declared how grateful he was to now have this legacy video as something to show his grandchildren one day!

So, dear grandparents, consider this: seize the opportunity to invite your grandchildren to embark on their own “Ask Me Anything” adventure with you. Let the magic of storytelling and shared experiences bridge the generational gap. Encourage them to capture these precious moments using their smartphone cameras, for in the years to come, these recordings will be cherished heirlooms (as long as they remember to back them up)!

In a world of constant change, the bond between grandparents and grandchildren remains a steadfast anchor. It’s a timeless connection that only grows richer with each shared story. Embrace the unique opportunity to have your grandchildren ask you about your life, for your words are more than answers—they are the keys to understanding your family’s legacy.

The desire to be remembered is both elemental and universal. Since time immemorial oral histories, diaries, memoirs and more recently, photographs and video have been used to preserve the memories of their authors. Today, we collect and curate our memorabilia more extensively than ever before. By doing this we not only preserve our memories, but in addition our online activity is actually recording present-day living.

Andy Warhol was once noted for saying “In the future everyone will be famous for 15 minutes.” In his 2013 TED Talk Your Online Life, Permanent as a Tattoo, Futurist Juan Enriquez posits, what if Warhol had that backwards? What if, due to our online activity, all we get is 15 minutes of anonymity? It’s an interesting premise and one well worth examining.

Enriquez calls our digital footprint ‘electronic tattoos’. Like permanent designs on our skin, our online activity tells a very detailed and intimate story of our lives. The main difference, however, is that electronic tattoos will outlive our physical bodies.

Traditional preservation methods have allowed the storyteller to tell his story in his own time and his own way. Now big data collected from our tens of thousands of online interactions permits those who have access to them to make decisions about us in real time. This has never happened at any other time in history. Our digital footprint is constantly being analysed and the data used to provide information about us for job and college applications, dating prospects, even shopping experiences, amongst a plethora of other purposes.

And no matter our caution, facial recognition software like Face.com purchased by Facebook in 2012, have databases with over 18 billion faces and allows our identification through photos potentially captured by third parties in public spaces. All this is recorded and potentially accessible forever.

With this in mind, Enriquez encourages us to follow these timeless lessons:

1. Take care in what you post
2. Don’t go looking too far into the past of those you love
3. Remember the purpose of your posts
4. Don’t “fall in love with your own reflection”

At the intersection of the need for privacy and the desire to be remembered lies the wisdom of knowing what we want to be remembered for and the discipline of leaving only that as our digital tattoo. With technology now active in people’s’ lives from birth, today’s challenge is to use this wisdom for ourselves. We need to teach the value of discretion and privacy as foresight to our families and to those who are unwise in this regard.

Remember- think before you post! Be wary of the digital legacy you leave…

Happy Holidays and Peace to all,

Iris and her team at Memoirs Productions

The Metropolitan Museum in New York City indexes four entries under the name Robert De Niro. The information recorded is not about the Oscar-winning actor and director, but rather about his father, the artist. Thanks to a recently released HBO documentary  “Remembering the Artist, Robert De Niro Sr.” we now know a lot more about his fascinating life.

Robert (Jr.) had a desire to preserve and rectify the truth about his father’s legacy as an artist, as well as his struggles as a gay man, and as such, produced this highly evocative documentary film. I believe we are privileged as a public viewing audience to see such a personal tribute.

De Niro had a complex relationship with his father. After his parents separated when he was two and finally divorced when he was nine or ten, he rarely saw him. “I was not aware, much, of it [his father being gay]. I wish we had spoken about it much more. My mother didn’t want to talk about things in general, and you’re not interested when you’re a certain age,” De Niro said during an interview in Out Magazine[1].

During his teens he would listen to his father rant about the injustices of the art world and the difficulty artists had in selling their work. “Artists are always recognized after they’re long gone,” says De Niro in the film’s trailer.

However brief his fame as an artist in the 1940’s and 50’s might have been, De Niro, Sr. was exhibited alongside Jackson Pollock by Peggy Guggenheim, and as a result, the impact his life and his artwork left on his son was powerful. Consequently, De Niro Jr. preserved his father’s SoHo studio much as it was, with paintings on the wall, books, and exhibition posters, as a personal tribute to his descendants.

Preserving his father’s legacy

“When he passed away I thought, well, I should keep it,” De Niro says in an interview with FT.com “because it’s a very special place, and also for my grandchildren and for my young kids, who never knew him. I wanted them to see what their grandfather did, what their great-grandfather did. And this is the best way.”

To get to know his father better and further immortalize the truth of his father’s life and its’ meaning, De Niro Jr. created Remembering the Artist – Robert De Niro Sr. His life and struggles are explored through old journal entries and photographs, as well as interviews of those close to him.

It was something De Niro Jr. always felt should be done. “I should have done this ten years earlier, but I’m glad I did it now.” In fact ten years ago he was interviewed in Esquire Magazine, and was quoted as saying that one of his biggest regrets in life was not getting enough of his parent’s stories recorded for his children and grandchildren. Now he can be proud of this accomplishment.

As we see in the De Niro family, many personal journeys are sometimes difficult. That is why recording the triumphs and challenges of life experiences, and the wisdom gained, is so vital to a family’s history. Through journal entries and video recordings gathered to preserve it, we can get to know family members more intimately. The result will be lifestories and wisdom to cherish leading us to a better understanding of our own heritage.

Kudos to Robert De Niro Jr. for getting it done!

 

[1] http://www.esquire.com/blogs/culture/robert-de-niro-gay-father